This is not a grand gesture, Licku. This is just your Chinu — being honest, being real, and hoping you'll hear me out.
I said this out of frustration, not truth. The truth is — I want to make your life better, not harder. I never want to be a problem you have to deal with. I want to be the person who makes your problems feel lighter.
That was my ego talking, not my heart. I don't actually believe I'm "nobody" in your life. I care too much to pretend I don't. But I should have said what I felt instead of shutting down.
This one hurt us both. I said it because I was scared — scared that maybe I'm not enough. But saying it out loud like that? That was unfair to you. It put pressure on you to reassure me when I should have been reassuring you.
You grew up in a home where your voice didn't always get heard. Where your freedom felt like something you had to fight for, not something you were given.
You learned to stand on your own because you had to. Independence became your armor, your identity, your hard-won superpower.
So when someone — even someone who cares about you — says "include me in your plans" … I understand why that might have felt like another chain. But Licku, I was never trying to hold you back. I was just asking you to take me along for the ride.
I don't want to clip your wings. I want to fly with you — matching your chaos step for step, being the partner in crime you never knew you needed.
When you talked about solo plans, I didn't feel controlling — I felt left out. Like you were planning the fun parts of life and I wasn't even considered. That stung.
I'm not the guy who'll sit and wait. I'm the guy who'll say "pack an extra bag, I'm coming too." I want to be your co-pilot, your travel buddy, your partner in every mischief.
And it goes both ways — when I have chaotic plans, you're the first person I want in on it. My adventures feel incomplete without you being part of the madness.
I'm not asking you to give up freedom. I'm asking you to imagine how much more fun freedom is when you have someone next to you who's equally unhinged about it.
We're not opposites fighting each other.
We're two kinds of chaos that belong together.
Your wild spirit doesn't scare me — it excites me and want to be a part of it. My emotional depth doesn't cage you — it gives you a safe place to land.
I know you've built walls because the world taught you that vulnerability is weakness. That depending on someone means losing yourself. That asking for help means you've failed.
But with me? You can put that armor down. You can be soft. You can be the girl who cries during movies, who needs a hug after a bad day, who says "I can't do this alone today."
Because your Chinu is right here — ready to be your protector when the world gets too loud, your provider when you need someone to lean on, and your biggest fan when you're being your fierce independent self.
Being independent and being loved are not enemies. You can be the strongest woman in the room and still choose to rest your head on someone's shoulder. That's not weakness — that's trust. And I want to earn that trust every single day.
I will never try to control your life, your choices, or the path you choose to walk. The only time I'll step in is when I believe something might harm you or go against the values that make you who you are.
All I ask is this: wherever your adventures take you, save me a seat beside you. Not because I want to lead your journey, but because I'd love to experience a part of it with you.
I will express what I feel without shutting down or saying hurtful things out of fear.
I will be patient as you figure out this "relationship thing" — because I know it's new territory for you, and I'm honored to be the one you're figuring it out with.
I will be your protector on the tough days and your biggest hype man on the good ones.
I will always include you in my chaos. And all I ask is that you include me in yours.
I will create a space where you can be strong and soft — where you never have to pretend you're okay when you're not.
One last thing...
You're the person who made me realize that love isn't about holding on tight — it's about holding on right. With open hands. With laughter. With the kind of chaos that only two people who genuinely like each other can create.
This relationship stuff might be new for you. But it's new for us. And I'd rather figure it out together — awkwardly, honestly, chaotically — than not at all.
You don't have to be strong with me, Licku. Be the messy you, the fierce you, the soft you, the gentle you, the beautiful you — the version of yourself that exists when no one else is watching.
And if I ever give you advice, I hope you never see it as me trying to change or control you. Taking advice doesn't diminish your worth or independence, it simply means you're willing to consider another perspective. Whether you follow it or not will always be your choice.
I can point toward a path that I believe is right, but only you can decide whether to walk it. And the same goes for me. There will be times when I'll need your wisdom, your perspective, and your guidance too.
I don't want a relationship where one person leads and the other follows. I want one where we learn from each other, challenge each other, support each other, and help each other become better versions of ourselves.
Your Chinu will walk beside you through all the adventures, lessons, victories, and storms that life brings our way.
Always & forever yours,
Your Chinu 💛